we broke up and he got another girl pregnant we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

2.6K views, 5 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 44 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Wildheart: **Miracle Baby Or Mistaken Baby- Man Denies Having Baby With Wife (Full Episode) - Paternity Court **. No, he could be furious at the legal system that compelled it or at the woman (who, by the way, was equally culpable in the creation) who opts to continue with a child only she wants.. I dont have an opinion on your status of human or troll via DW forums. This is my first time posting on here but I really need some advice. And if so, Im ready. Its not the situation, but the way its written. bittergaymark April 10, 2012, 11:41 am. anyway, well, I've been discovering that I found out she's pregnant by someone last oct that she met. Thats the risk that you take. Problem. However, my father got primary physical placement, and my mother got 4 hours of visitation a week, and THAT is what dictated child support (or would have if she could have afforded to pay it). While we both made it, I wanted it and he didnt. Forcing him to stay with her isnt going to make anyone happy at all. 10. So true. And the legal system that obligates him was in place when he put himself in this position. April 10, 2012, 5:49 pm. My ex and I broke up for the first time a year ago. female This man seems to be both irresponsible and immature so be glad you can move on and not be stuck with him. If you dont want a baby use birth control. According to pro-choice rhetoric, this man has NOTHING to do with the existence of the child. April 10, 2012, 10:56 am, hes angry with the way this has worked out. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. But if you are uninterested in a relationship with him because of his newfound drama then walk away sister. The fact that you just knew your boyfriend got another girl pregnant before you start dating him shows that both of you is lacking a good communication way. Really stupid. Remember that episode when Rachel told Ross she was pregnant and he freaked out because they used condoms? John Rohan And not even the most important part. Has a great job. April 10, 2012, 6:52 pm. Meaning, a woman SHOULD ask the guy who knocked her up what he would like. we are making DW history, here, people!!! He found her annoying but still slept with herI think this was pretty assholish behavior. April 10, 2012, 2:42 pm. I've always felt like I was put on this planet to be a mom, but when . I don't know my place anymore because he doesn't want to tell her we're back together. Not in the 50s or 60s and maybe not as late as the 80s but today the father gets joint custody. Girls can get caught up in emotions and run wild with feels sometime devilish innocent Established Member Established Members My Ex-girlfriend says she misses me. While it is true he has no obligation to someone hes broken up with, he does have an obligation to not go around making babies with women he doesnt even know. landygirl This surprises you? Nope, none of it matters. Ill never leave you. He didnt expect that to happen. OK, this is going to be longer than it should, but I have reactions to several things. Either_Coconut 3 mo. I just think its extremely scumbag-ish to want nothing to do with your child, no matter how it was conceived. Jess of CGW This letter is written by someone who wasnt even involved in the conception of the child, so I dont believe there can be an objective reading of the circumstances. I mean, hey, we certainly couldnt be any more careless or reckless with this precious gift than women keep on proving to be, landygirl Both have to accept responsibility for that. 2. I love the argument that the women receiving child support are just sipping margaritas all day while getting mani/pedis on this income. lets_be_honest April 9, 2012, 12:24 pm. He probably knows shell be a lousy mother. April 10, 2012, 12:00 am. You are in a relationship where you are the one responsible for everything. No one knows if adoptive parents end up being fabulous parents. Merely that it is an immense expense for the man for a situation that he didnt want a situation which, as I said, the woman is never forced to endure. But anyone who consents to sex and is then furious at their sex partner when a baby is the outcome is an idiot. Being on the Pill is akin to saying that youre not interested in having children, so I think its not completely invalid for him to assume she wasnt ready to have children, and to be angry when he ends up being forced into fatherhood.. Thats the responsible thing for anyone to do after having unprotected sex and before beginning a new relationship. There was a reason for that. Have you ever seen an episode of the Maury show or any other talk drama show? female I dont know what to think or believe. only an ass would be furious at anyone other than himself when he becomes obligated to provide for a child that he created.. That way you will know things like what you both agree to do if she gets preggers, and how soon you jettison him if he goes and has sex with someone else ad knocks her up. If you loved him, you wouldn't toss the relationship. A Happy Life Now this is really petty, but I'm planning to post a picture of me and my boyfriend for her to see. It makes sense that she would do everything she could to convince us that this other woman wanting to keep the child is the worse thing ever because theyre obviously meant to be and this childs existence is a testament to the fact that their (former and/or current) relationship wasnt/isnt perfect. April 9, 2012, 3:42 pm. Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. I just picture this LW with only tiny chunks of her brain left rattling around in her head as she sputters out this completely illogical rubbish (malarky). Pardon my French but if youre going to stick your dick into a stranger, you need to take birth control into your own hands and not rely on her word alone. He apologized for not telling me sooner. The system you propose that if conception is not by mistake and if the man does not decide early on that he doesnt want to be responsible, then he should be obligated to that child is the craziness system ever. Outstanding dont have kids. Please do better. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Which includes emotional support, not just financial. 6napkinburger Rarely, does a woman bring a man on the show to announce that hes pregnant and the responds with Id prefer you have an abortion.. . Dream about Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant indicates spiritual renewal and healing. troll label aside, we do get together monthly and burn ex-boyfriends in effigy so hes got us there. I cant tell you how many children have grown up thinking something was wrong with THEM because they had a parent who didnt want them.. All it is is having someone served w papers requiring them by law to have a q tip swab their mouth. But then again the child might be better off without such an jerk as a role model. If it is hers you bet she supports it. April 10, 2012, 10:34 am. April 9, 2012, 4:55 pm. Besides, why would you want to be with a man who is with someone else? [The feminist movement died one millisecond after the first impact. I doubt the conversation went like: Please have an abortion. By having sex you are saying that the woman might get pregnant and you are willing to deal with it if that is the case. lets_be_honest Those are very different things. It hurts me that he will have to go through his first child experience with someone else while I watch. You two seems very good at twisting everyones words, and then getting mad at those people for it. Not with hormonal BC, not with 2 methods of BC, not when one of the individuals has been sterilized. Where do stand on the fact that when a pregnancy occurs its only the woman who has to go through either an abortion or childbirth and the man never does either? Of course it is, but we have no way of knowing that the other woman was lying about that. If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy.. April 9, 2012, 1:00 pm. This guy, you can most definitely live without. Dont engage in the action. April 9, 2012, 11:16 am, Oh, good lord. I honestly dont care if he did or didnt. Its unfortunate that he may potentially be a life-long relationship as parents with this woman, in addition to the legal responsibilities for the child, but any 40 year old man knows that is a potential risk. So, if she opted for an abortion and he was furious with her for not keeping the baby, would he be scum? It is possible to get pregnant while on the pill, it happened to three women I know. AndreaMarie If the person who carried the child to term (woman) wants to turn the kid over to adoptive parents to care for it, then the responsibilitys on them. Scummy is the wrong word to use. at risk of STDs. April 9, 2012, 12:23 pm. April 10, 2012, 9:40 pm. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. By clicking Subscribe Now, you agree to our, Find out why Dr. Sherry has this message for this scorned woman: You are being played with a capital "P!, The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages. He has to fit the baby into their life, not the other way around. Surely you know that So if you want to hate women for having child support, why dont you hate the men who skipped town. SweetsAndBeats When you give your child up for adoption, you are giving him or her to people who really want a child and are prepared financially and emotionally to give that child support. Good. I had no idea most women hated it. I think that is a pretty bad guess with how this guys attitude is towards things, and how badley he wants nothing to do with the child. I think this would cut down on a LOT of baby mama drama with regards to accusations of women getting pregnant on purpose or trapping me with a baby. Because no matter how much we feminists on here hate that bullshit, it DOES happen. make sure you use back up protection! Oh I agree that its a bad idea, but still a choice to be made individually. Well be together forever no matter what. is thrown around just to get in some dumb girls pants just as often as I wont get pregnant. is thrown around to trap ignorant dumbasses. In the same situation currently. But it is a result of a legal system that prioritizes the needs of children over fairness to the parents. But for someone more causal, that isnt really there as much. I said there and I think it bears repeating here: you have no right to assume the woman you are having sex with has the same views on abortion as you. So go whine about how unfair life is to someone who is as ignorant as you are about how life works. No. April 9, 2012, 12:52 pm. And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING WOMEN to have abortions? caitie_didnt Idiots like the guy in the letter, dont. Just because shes decided to not have an abortion because your boyfriend cant stand her and doesnt want anything to do with her or the innocent child, who, like it or not, he helped create, doesnt mean shes trying to trap him or that shes a scroat. That line of reasoning is fine but condescending only for those who never in their entire lives have ever done anything that might have resulted in something unexpected (and unwanted) happening. How very astute of you to notice the fundamental difference between the genders. Takeoff Shot in Head and Torso, According to Coroner Report, Aaron Carter Pulled Over On Suspicion Of DUI While Driving RV. Because we stayed together, she caused him a lot of . Besides, he made that choice a long time ago when you broke up the first time. That support is not hers. However, if a woman has sex with a man, she can make all the choices and decisions, force palimony, and essentially treat that man as their financial slave for the next 18 years. Is this a valid summary? Again, not unusual, and since the LW and the guy were broken up, the LW has no claim to what the guy could do after the breakup. As Ive said upthread: a man who sleeps with a woman he believes to be on the pill does so with the not-unreasonable expectation that she doesnt want to become pregnant. The hand and fingers were all bright red and black-and-blue under the nails. slept with someone else. Im arguing that he should be able to get out of the responsibility in the same way that a woman can get out of that responsibility. In my opinion, even if the baby turns out to not be his, hes already shown his true colors; and theyre pretty yellow. I completely agree. Our resident male troll is back and defending his gender. She and Jimmy were going to raise their children together. She left me for him and and now wants me back. She got pregnant. I dont think she should have any sort of legal say about the decision to keep the baby, but I dont think shes committing some horrendous crime for judging it. He says he cant stand her? Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right? I just disagree that sexual preference has anything to do with how likely one is to use a condom all the time. As others have said, she could have been on the pill and he could have used a condom and she still could have gotten pregnant. Commenters on most websites just depress me I dont bother reading them anymore. Yes, its shitty. Having the foresight to step out early doesnt make him an asshole. female April 9, 2012, 5:29 pm. For all we know, he used a condom and thought she was on the pill. Oh I completely agree! he delivers the baby from the nursery to your house. Your are putting words into peoples mouths. April 9, 2012, 4:23 pm. When all of our comments are just reiterations of the same sentiment it can get boring. April 9, 2012, 10:00 pm, No, I actually think that of us effectively use condoms Most of the dumb idiots I know that knocked girls up all thought they were safe because they were told all was well, Im on the pill PS. sorry, brain). I weep for the younger folks out there. reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): A But everything youve written here about the pregnancy and the well being of the child has made me look at things with fresh eyes. Vampires arent supposed to glitter and werewolves arent supposed to be pedophiles. Even though people would like to think that the pill is 100% effective it is not. I wouldnt want to hang around to find out. Im guessing that shes in the UK or Ireland, or perhaps New England. Nope, not at all, she just goes on living life unchanged. But if she is not YOU need to decide if you can handle your boyfriend having a child with another woman. Its not a mystery. LW, why in the hell would you want to get with this guy right now? His baby momma, the woman he claims he doesnt love and doesnt want to be with, is threatening to harm herself and the baby if he doesnt be with her. Courts are loath to do anything but joint custody unless one of the parents is an absolute idiot. Not necessarily. As far as your relationship with him. 60+ years on this ball-o-dirt and witnessing the madness going on around this place, as well as being an honest-to-God Christian. How on earth do you propose to make any of this even for everybody, including the child? April 9, 2012, 12:55 pm, Im sure there are many, many women who would argue that its not all rainbows and butterflies in attaining child support. Stop this back and forth with him. Shes also calling him a troll because he likes to show up only for these types of letters when he can tell DW commentators that we are all obviously wrong and from the she-women man hating club. April 10, 2012, 7:25 pm. Well, that part is pretty easy, since its the way things work now. Lots of it. Probably a creationist, from what you know about biological science. April 9, 2012, 11:08 am. but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. Hes decided on what hes going to do, and it does not involve you. I think she is just trying to trap my man, who is untrappable. The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. she didn't know that she's pregnant after in 4 month later. im just annoyed that so many people (at least many of the LWs here) act as if birth control or std prevention isnt something they need to worry about. Shall I and all the other taxpayers? That is the point when an intelligent person makes their decision. Why are you mopping and crying over a man who clearly doesnt want to be with you? He was clearly having unprotected sex with at least one other person. And now onto you, ummmm you say he cant bare to be without you and never loved anyone as much as he loves you.well his actions sure say otherwise. Either way, it sounds like she and this douchenugget guy are made for each other. I know plenty of women who are exemplary parents. This week she contacted him to say she was pregnant. We all know that going in. Loved this guy, things were not working out, cos he was fucking around with other girls. The dude having sex is not my issue. She has every right to be shocked and upset about the turn of the events, but the way she is reacting; blaming everything on the woman, judging her, calling HER names, is wrong and she comes off as an immature, witchy teenager. If they dont want to be taken, then they should think before they poke landygirl. If you choose to roll those dice against any odds you have yourself to blame if they dont land in your favor. Might he have continued sleeping with her? New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. I wish it's that easy. bittergaymark I dont think the LW can handle a relationship where another woman has her mans child. Life isnt fair. kerrycontrary April 9, 2012, 3:07 pm. His? thus why I said troll label aside. It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. Well, maybe not your life, but your happiness and security do depend on it. I also think hes kind of a jerk for having sex with someone he cant stand. WTF!!! Maam, hes made a choice. 3) A parent leaving their child with the other parent, especially one they barely know, isnt the same as putting a child up for adoption. I totally understand. Trying to force someone to get an abortion? haha. Men are stupid and do stupid things, but so are women. He had no more to do with the existence of this child then an architect who only provides half the blueprints has responsibility for the existence of the Pentagon. Mother hits hard times and ends up going on either Medicaid or Temporary Assistance/Welfare. Im a 29-year old mother of two children, and I was in a relationship for 4 years with a man (not the father of my kids), and he has a daughter from a previous relationship as well. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. Who then supports the child that the man made? He cant try and opt out of the rules that he knew he was playing by when he had sex with this woman. Doesnt interest me. bittergaymark It is never said in the letter that he didnt, and the apparent assumption is that, since the woman said she was on the pill, he must not have used one. That is what passes for reality in your world? Bless This Mess. I highly doubt thats what shes doing considering shes only known him for two minutes., SweetsAndBeats Yes, its not a crime. We broke up for 8 hours 2 months in and he met another girl within those 8 hours. Sure. And if so, Im ready. She should have either used additional contraception or not engaged with sex with a man who wasnt actively pursuing fatherhood, because now shes fucking with 2 other peoples lives who do not have an active role in the decision-making process. Blowjobs are a practice in breath holding and gag reflex control, and my jaw ends up hurting pretty badly if I do it for long enough. He can bang the neighbor, the lunch lady, and his friendly neighborhood bartenderwhoever. The family structure is dynamic and without balance, falls apart. Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. "My mom got pregnant from a one-night-stand at 16. If the man doesnt, apparently you feel that he should not have that option. Hi. -Wants nothing to do with his own child. Oh, and of course, hes also called a dick, and ass, and other choice names. He says he'll do it after the first trimester as the girl's pregnancy is prone to miscarriage. April 9, 2012, 5:57 pm. Its always someone elses fault. Hes responsible for the choices that brought him where he is now. Your welcome. We were back and forth and it was very frustrating for me so I gave him an ultimatum I told him that he either wanted to make it work and we move forward, or, that I was leaving to another city to start over without him. If he truly wants nothing to do with his child and is willing to pay his obligatory financial support, I dont think that makes him a scumbag, I think thats good foresight. It seems like you would be even more concerned about this when sleeping with someone you are non-monogamous with. You know, I dont have much patience this morning, so I (somewhat) apologize if my reply reeks of snark.. April 9, 2012, 10:46 am, Im not even sure how to address this letter, so I guess step by step is a good way to go. Man is in quotes becuase no man abandons a woman that he impregnates. bittergaymark I dont owe them a relationship just because we have the same DNA. You dont honestly believe that logic that applies to one situation should be applied to all situations, do you? Not to say that a single mother cannot give a child the support she needs alone, but as the father if you wash your hands of being in the childs life, you do not KNOW or even have a reasonable expectation (especially if shes a one night stand youve only known for 2 minutes) that the mother will be a sufficient parent. But by that same logic, you must be prepared to call a woman who doesnt want to be a mom a scumbag for getting an abortion (in the instances the guy wants to keep it but that woman doesnt). April 10, 2012, 10:20 pm. Like most men are running around handing out free money to them without them having to fight for it. You want to look awesome in comparison to this new guy. April 10, 2012, 5:46 pm. I think the LW and her ex would do better to break up for good. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. If that means not being with your boyfriend for the next 9 months to a year, then so be it (I dont think youll die without him). Most guys will not pass up good sex and they .