My eyes focused on a print on my wall that says You are altogether beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you, from Song of Solomon. Minor fundie drama + a little dear john creepiness in this podcast. What do I mean? You in the beginning.. something was wrong podcast sara picture - webmaster.rocks I was telling friends I call my special ops that I was amazed by how different our first conversations were. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram @SpaceandPurpose Check out Sara's Blog spaceandpurpose.com Something Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Sara's story Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably wrong, confusing, and overwhelming? I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Some of my darkest days have been marked by a unique sense of His presence I dont feel other times. Its very simple: youre more excited to be with your roommate and thats fine. Real-Time. However, this is my playground and Im honored to have your eyes as guests for a few moments.) Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). Our minds are incredible in their design when it comes to trauma. Just so wild! Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. Hed lied to his family about my job, inflating my position and giving me a title Ive never had. Jake Gravbrot Bio, Wikipedia, Age, Wife, And What Was Wrong In Season 14? I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. A month or so before the wedding, he started this game around withholding affection. About - Space & Purpose What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. Something Was Wrong: A Podcast About A Woman Who Called Off Her Wedding With A Sociopath | by Carrie Wynn | Fearless She Wrote | Medium Write Sign up Sign In 500 Apologies, but something went. The first round back in 2015 started with breaking down my fences, telling myself the truth, and exploring whats on the other side. Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. More and more, constant intake. With things being different, this means the stage is being set for those who have felt displaced, in waiting or unseen, perhaps with a story or passion but no clear platform for it. Which season or episode(s) are you recommending? Rose Ayling-Ellis Deaf Story, Net Worth, Boyfriend And How Did She Learn To Speak? Suddenly his explanation changed from claiming he hadnt said it, to having said it but Id completely misread the whole thing. Season 9 of Something Was Wrong features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery - who the f*ck is Ardie? It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. I had the wherewithal at that moment to hold my ground. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Its insidious and the cost is incredibly high. I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. She's been trained from birth to not challenge anyone in authority (men) and to rush to get married. I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. Join our Discord server --- request access. I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. When that light feels like a pinpoint, we have to lean in closer and He is faithful to meet us there. In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. In fact, hope wasrestored because confirmation poured in that I was not crazy! Holding on to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids, many stay. If you are a man & want to discuss anything like mental health, suicide, therapy, or addiction, my email is always open. Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. 3 for any nerds curious.) If we dont feel capable, there is Grace and we can ask for help! In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. This season, we continue to share the stories of incredible survivors and their shocking life discoveries and recovery from them. When my community (called a bubble by someone) felt something was wrong and told me to be praying with them, I didnt know what else to do but get on my knees alone that Friday night and read the Names of God out loud. Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. It costs relationships. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.. We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. Toxic relationship recovery stories + whatever else we want to hash out. If we see what He does: Him in us? THE PURPOSE - 100% of profits from each garment sold are contributed to a socially conscious artist grant program. It was a scary piece for me. Its very real.). Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. Welcome to a spiritual war. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. It wont always be super serious around here. Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. As Iridian begins her new job, the workplace gossip and odd interactions circle closer and closer to home. My ex could quote Scripture backward and forward, hold theological discussions with church leadership, and was quick to deconstruct the flaws in any given churchs infrastructure. Apple Podcasts unveiled the season 14 audio trailer for Something Was Wrong. on 13 October. He finally has our full attention. But Jake and Mimi got divorced in 2021. They wont see the truth of who you really are or arent. Ive gone through seasons of counseling twice now. Please God, if you have any mercy dont let her catch the pianissimo she overlooked. Listen on Apple Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. We belong to Him. Especially after marriage. Psalm 37 has been brought to my attention more than once its not a gentle read. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! . Seriously, DONT. Jesus did all this so we could be restored to our Father. I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. It was the most confusing night of my life, but I felt a strange peace and clearly heard in my heart Sunday will be pivotal. I was so emotionally invested in moving forward that I assumed that meant everyone would understand and all would be well. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? For some reason, he threw on a fake New Jersey accent and waved his hand flippantly as he said, Yeah! Like she belongs to US and then YOU after marriage. The people we surround ourselves with are who we will reflect, so hopefully were all chasing something that freaks us out on some level. The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. Sayings like move along grandma youll be dead soon anyway were common. In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. I cannot respond to any comments. This season, 11 incredible survivors share their stories of shocking life discoveries and the recovery from them. Our hearts. Before being married, Kailyn Gravbrot and Jake Gravbrot were in a relationship. He would flip things quickly on anyone who dared question him. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. It was healing, though, to go back to the beginning and understand how I could have fallen for such an insidious trap. We were at Blue Bottle in Oakland when he called someone fat out loud well within earshot of that person, and I began scanning the doors for my exit strategy. I stand by what I said about not changing a thing. Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. Without something to work toward, we wither. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. Not just basics, but specialty items he wanted to try. I still remember the shrug of his shoulders when I peered around the freezer door and asked him about the organic vodka (does organic even matter at that point? Reviews of Something Was Wrong - Chartable He actually laughed, shaking his head! Something Was Wrong Podcast on Amazon Music Anyone listening to Something was wrong? : r/podcasts - reddit No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. I've honestly had a fantastic career so far, working alongside brilliant people for the best brands in the world. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. We support artists from around the world, who create works speaking to inclusion, feminism, equality, wellness, and other important social issues to both promote diversity in media & spread ideas that encourage openness. Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. A dog I adored (he physically abused and terrorized her), a home I admired daily, roommates who made life a blast and a neighborhood I would sit and breathe deep in. I said when can we start?! (Im obviously an empathetic person, but even I secretly rolled my eyes in those moments!) Emotions came but I shoved them down and started thinking through examples he might be referring to. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Better to go unnoticed than not measure up. It can start to manifest as headaches, aches and pains, fatigue, a lowered immune system, etc. If I was a gossip, help me see and change it. He looked at me for a moment, then a soft expression came over his face as he said, Me too.. It reminds me an awful lot of rubbing a dogs nose in his own urine when he goes in the house. It's wild because this was suggested to me by Spotify YESTERDAY. (Genesis 1:31, paraphrased.) Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. Something Was Wrong Podcast - Facebook He responds. Its not gonna just go away. I just listened to season one because Amazon podcasts referred it to me :) I had similar thoughts. (I realize not everyone reading this shares my beliefs. Kelley And Lizzy Musi Still Together In 2022? As an ex-Evangelical, there are a lot of dog whistles that indicate the young woman being steeped in evangelical purity culture. Enough to let go and be free. I'm glad her parents were there for her and helped her see that Dick was bad, but it came with an overtone of ownership and control rather than simply concern and love. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. Find Tammy Wynettes Ex-Husband Don Chapel Details, Jac Vanek Bio, Wikipedia, Age, Dating Life, Past Relationships And Net Worth Details, Michael Strahan Leaving GMA In 2022: Find His Net Worth And Where He Is Heading. I'm happy to chat about design, business, strategy, faith, and the enneagram. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. He gained access by discovering what mattered to me, big and little things, and making them matter to him. What about now? I mentally ask as I sift through rental listings, schlepping myself to and from unit viewings and even applying for what I thought was my dream spot. On TikTok, Jake has several videos with a total of roughly 61.7 million views. A woman was praying for me shortly after I called off my wedding and she kept repeating, Hope is NOT deferred., Never. Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). (God forbid should observers figure out I have no idea what the hell Im doing.). Something Was Wrong's 14th season contestant Jake Gravbrot was married to Mimi Gravbrot. The old man is dead. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. She was a beautiful lady. Youre loose-lipped! as if it was obvious and went about his business. Its a beautiful song, but it isnt on my short list of repeated favorites. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? See Episode 8 of the Something Was Wrong Podcast: There is Much to Confess.. So when people tell me I am brave to share my story, Im realizing I dont feel brave at all because it doesnt feel like mine. Its His story of jealousy, of the lengths Hell go to leave the 99 for one. In Season 14 of the show, an accurate account of Seattle-based hairstylist Jake Gravbrot is presented. Jake went to a private Christian elementary school where his classmates and teachers liked him. He has a company named Jake Gravbrot Photography, and in addition to doing hair, he also works as a concert and landscape photographer. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) In addition, the couple has a boy from 2008 and a girl from 2003. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. Hed give me a hug or kiss, then playfully push me away like he was discarding me and look back like he expected me to come back for more. I was in shock for several blocks while he bounced up and down in the drivers seat like a big kid in a puddle. Something Was Wrongs 14th season contestant Jake Gravbrot was married to Mimi Gravbrot. Women were not created to be helpmeets, as many in the homeschool community taught us to look so forward to being. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. We were something to behold. Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. Once we were alone in my room I asked what was going on. When I regained control and came out, he looked at me like I was crazy. Choosing peace that blatantly opposes the storm around them. In my case, since Im obviously the main character here, Im in the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier definitely says, Nice day to start a blog!, Cashier: I said nice day for a jog! My brain hurt and I wondered if Id found its capacity when I was informed that it was now time to change the physical look of my hands while they were doing the impossible. Add a hefty sprinkle of guilt for feeling that way, since Im fully aware of my safety and blessings in the moment, and you have the tension of right now. When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. 10 no. We never watched a movie with my roommate because that time was spent talking in my room. A subreddit for snarking on fundamentalist Christianity and extreme Christian views. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. I was simply drawn to it. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. (Imagine that going down in 2018. He had an explanation as to why Bryan had sent him an electronic copy for safe-keeping in case the hard copies got lost in the mail, but his point was my failure in how I handled the situation. Later, Kailyn and Jae divorced, and she then wed another man. All excuses, brain-washing, and influences melted away. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. One of many is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I dont fight it. Only when that phrase appears on page 3. As all of this was hot and fresh, my godmother sat me down and formally requested that I read a book called Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. Calling them accomplices in the oppression of a victim and pointing out that theyre devaluing the victims life in favor of the abusers might get me some backlash and Im just not ready or qualified to enter that ring.). The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. I gave up rights to my story when I gave it to Him. Is that person you met online really telling the truth? I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. Listen to Season 9 of Something Was Wrong now and subscribe to hear the next chapter of their story every Thursday. For some reason this of all things pierced my heart. Same! If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. (Including but doubtfully limited to: texting me as 2 friends (a married couple with kids) that hed completely fabricated since week 2, and seeing other women at the same time via different dating apps than hed said hed been on when we met. Podcast: something was wrong : r/FundieSnarkUncensored - reddit Shows > Something Was Wrong > Season 14 Exhibit C 13 Episodes Season 14 Also Listen On More Options Social Media Pages Share This Show All Episodes Season 14 His Moods Really Swing E S14 E1 Oct 20, 2022 43 min *Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape, disordered eating, emotional, sexual and physical violence,. One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. I listened to the Sarah and Dick arc and I feel like Sarah herself has a lot of fundie lite beliefs and either she or the host didn't seem willing to acknowledge how those beliefs prime women to accept abuse from their partners. Ive seen it reap destruction and keep people captive from chasing their potential. Some might be a complex mix of both sides depending on the day and their mood or emotional state. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. My countenance fell and everything shifted. Like how about she's her own damn person? This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. Hope: the day light broke through the trees and warmth poured in. Everything looked guaranteed until they went a different direction. Something felt different. Hed research and educate himself on whatever it was so he could talk about it with me. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? Fall has always been a favorite. Pleaded for him to give it some time. something was wrong podcast sara picture Later on behind closed doors (especially sitting in the car while waiting for people to cross the street), and eventually in public places like coffee shops and grocery stores, he would refer to people as fat, ugly, or worthless. Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. He very frequently mentioned his brothers position of church eldership. Jake Gravbrot Bio, Wikipedia, Age, Wife, And What Was Wrong In Season He was so soft. (Im generalizing. Not my service or even faithfulness with what He gave me before He has my attention first. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast Episodes - Something Was Wrong Season 13 This season, we continue to share the stories of incredible survivors and their shocking life discoveries and recovery from them. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. or to justify a divorce to their church. According to the DSM-5, traits of APD include: I was flippantly told multiple stories from his childhood about rebellion, lying, and getting in trouble with authority. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Something Was Wrong Podcast now has 50.5k followers, 39 posts, and 179 followings on Instagram. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? He finally has our full attention. You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Beautiful day. More and more of us are waking up at our own pace, shaking off the itll go back to normal soon complacency that gives us permission to coast through times of unrest and wait it out.. That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. The increasing speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the wedding wasnot ok,not normal, andnot my fault. I know non-religious people get abused, but indoctrination makes it so much easier to be in an environment ripe for abuse. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. There is Something Wrong with my Girlfriend - IMDb Currently, the Something Was Wrong podcast has 174 followers on YouTube, 62.5K followers on Instagram, and is not active on TikTok. Our spirits are what reflect Him. I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. Wouldnt a Christian want to try the best they could to ensure others are not hurt by this person? And if you're hearing Sara's story for the first time, wellyou're in for a wild ride! I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. Both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each one sing. (I remember that word so well.) It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited and produced by Tiffany Reese. He said, to be honest Im strongly considering heading back home. (It had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get to my house.) The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. What a messy time to be alive.). Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. For those who are unfamiliar with psychopathsand narcissists, this is one way they succeed while minimizing damage visible to the public eye. Required fields are marked *. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. Something Was Wrong: A Podcast About A Woman Who Called Off - Medium Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches.