female But if discussing your wants and needs with a sexual partner makes you blush, you need to make a conscious effort to put that to one side. Sometimes I wonder if I am loving and supportive enough as a husband, and then I hear about people like the OP's husband. Researchers have found that jealousy negatively impacts relationship happiness and contributes to more frequent conflicts (Martinez-Leon, N. et al. reader, JustHelpinAgain+, writes (1 November 2012): A Other than this one transgression, is he a good husband? His sexual past might have been good but they won't compare to how his experience will be with you. Do I really want to be out-of-control like that again? But if you think a relationship could evolve between you or youre having sex with a boyfriend, then faking pleasure is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. Should I just walk away? Winter doesnt condone this approach, and instead believes that the subject needs to be brought up tactfully. I assumed he just meant out of my exes. She Overheard Her Boyfriend Telling His Best Friend That His Ex Was Better In Bed Than She Is, His Girlfriend Dumped Him So She Could Have An Arranged Marriage But Now That Her Wedding Is Happening Next Week She Expects Him To Show Up To Stop It, Her Fianc Is Going Skiing In Another Country With His Family Just Before Their Wedding And He Doesnt Care That Shes Staying Home, This Young Man Claims That As A Kid, He And His Family Actually Saw The Real Santa Claus Flying Through The Sky, She Went To High School With Taylor Swift And She Says That Nobody Really Liked Taylor Back Then, This Waitress Says She Made Over $400 In Tips One Day While She Was Pregnant, This Family Says The Live-In Nurse That They Hired Always Left The House To Go On Walks, But It Turns Out She Was Stalking A Guy. I really, truly, didnt know how to handle it.. He wrote: "She mentioned an ex of hers knew her body best and that he was the best sex shes had.". No one wants to feel inadequate, and even if youre the most grounded person in the world, that pain is still going to sting. Just.wtf?! Not only has he told you, the ex is better in bed, he has also told friends and relatives. Shes A Diagnosed Sociopath Answering Questions Such As Can She Fall In Love, And Can She Be Cured? My ex told me that making me orgasm was too difficult. Because he might not have had all that much actual sex if hes never had long-term relationships that meant he was having sex with the same person regularly. The thing that prompted this post is, even though he has told me before, I was scrolling FB just now and saw a post saying "describe one thing your ex was good at" and he responded with "sex. Login first Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Sounds like you need to have a talk with this guy and tell him that this openness on a private aspect of your marriage is hurting you. It is incredibly disrespectful and a complete mistrust. Can you handle knowing that you may never compare to a mysterious, faceless former lover? The good news is that there definitely is. Now, he probably isnt terrible. But you dont just have to sit back and hope the situation will sort itself out in time. Sharing his dilemma on Reddit, the 19-year-old explained how he's been seeing his partner for about a month and they just consummated their relationship. Theres always a give-and-take, and what you do offer to the relationship may be essential for your mates happiness. Investigators said they identified the victims ex-boyfriend, 37-year-old Timothy Prescott Parson, as the assailant. Its easy for life to get in the way and for sexual and emotional quality time with your partner to go out of the window, especially once youve been together for a while or youve moved in together. ), Winter believes its ultimately for the best. reader, OhGetReal+, writes (18 September 2010): A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): A WebWhen it comes to the connection alone, it is clear that you are already 10 steps ahead of where his ex was, considering they broke up and your partner is about to spend the rest of Youd get the ick. Just sayin'. He was tall, with twinkling golden eyes and broad shoulders. Frankly, I would question why OP's husband would be discussing an ex at all, especially after 4 years of marriage. At first, I was angry. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. Its still not anywhere near as good as it was with my ex, but its passable. I saw this was upsetting her so I just stopped this converstion and told her that i just felt humiliated at the time and should not have to apologize for liking what she likes.I have not brought it up since, there is no point. reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): A But that doesnt mean its not his responsibility to be aware of that and work on it. I started directing her in bed, and when she did something I liked, Id moan and give her signals that shes doing a good job.. Other times, it slips out indirectly. Will I know if I'll be as good or even better than his ex girlfriend was?" (For what its worth, this topic doesnt seem to be presented much in mens media, despite the pretty even gender split on Reddit. I said hello as I passed the hall an lets just say you could hear a pin drop.Let me say this first of all my FI is the most wondeful woman I have ever met, she is smart, supportive, intelligent,successful and honestly the sexiest most satisfying lover I have ever had the pleasure of being with. Am I right to be hurt? Telling random people about how your spouse is in bed is just tacky as all hell, and if it's making you uncomfortable (how could it not?) To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. First of all, lets have a look at a few reasons why your boyfriend might not currently be a good lover. WebIt doesn't matter who he's liked better in bed or what he thinks about marriage, YOUR ACTIONS are so wrong he deserves to at least know who's he's in a relationship with. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. Like, you have certain expectations, but it disappoints you.. The first thing you need to do is get over any embarrassment you may have surrounding sex and your sexual desires. The door was closed so I guess they didnt realize that I could still hear them and as they were talking., My bf said that his ex was the bestthat he had ever had and went on to say that she knew what to do a lot better than I did and they were both laughing about it.. No one wants to feel inadequate, and even if youre the most grounded person in the world, that pain is still going to sting. Ive been in relationships before that i didnt care the sex was so so because of how I felt for the person at the time, but it did not change the reality that the sex was still so so.Why is it hard for some of the people here to understand is that when a man loves a woman deeply he wants to be her "best" he wants to be her hero whether she needs saving or not. Find out the funny places where hes ticklish or where delicate kisses turn him on and get him to map out your body in the same way. Not the sex itself. WebMy boyfriend says he loved his ex more than he loves me. reader, So_Very_Confused+, writes (26 December 2012): A He probably thinks you are very attractive otherwise he wouldn't be with you right now. Then she quickly stated that it doesn't mean anything to her, that I am a wonderful lover and that she would never stay in a relationship much less marry someone that did not satisfy her in bed.She began cry and started to tell me how the emotion she has during our lovemaking is stronger than anything she has ever felt. But last week my insecurities have just boiled over when his friend came over they were talking in the living room of the flat while I was working in the bedroom, she explained. If you can't be with someone supportive and loving who treats you well then it's probably better to be alone for a while rather than with someone who tears you down. In my opinion, specifics of your sexual activities should NEVER be discussed outside of your relationship unless permission is given. from relationship_advice, Other times, it slips out indirectly. The unbridled wildness of your partners ex may have been out-of-control, and ultimately, destructive to the relationship., Besides, she adds, its important to remember that no ones perfect. Especially to begin with, as hes probably trying really hard to please you. As everyone does at some point, shes feeling that she does have a tendency to struggle with insecurity. Still not sure what to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances? 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. First of all, yikes! He added: "I made a joke saying, 'yeah Ill get there one day since this was literally our first time doing anything. Another redditor. I have read many post here how women state that an ex of theirs was the the best sex they have ever had but but the they were terrible boyfriends and the idea of marrying them was laughable. If youve landed on this page, your boyfriend probably isnt all that great in bed. WITHOUT going into too much detail, the first time you jump into bed with someone knew is probably never going to be mind-blowing. Have you two discussed sex and what it is that he seemingly wants that he isn't getting? This Woman Was The Very First Person To Go Over The Niagra Falls Inside Of A Barrel, And She Lived To Tell The Tale. RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAILexclusive@the-sun.co.uk, Moment killer roams streets with shotgun in 8-minute rampage that killed 5, Popular Netflix show cancelled after just one series - leaving fans gutted, Im 92 but still rock minidresses - I've got a 2 secret to looking young, Baby among 6 festival-goers sliced to death by glass-encrusted kite strings, News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. female I know I have no reason to feel threatened by this guy and this information about who her best lover is/was in no way is going to jeopordize my relationship with this woman. WebStep #3) Stop Asking About Your Boyfriends Ex-Girlfriend s. Jealousy is an intimacy killer. Not in the least. There are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed or , . Sometimes, this news is broken bluntly and without fear (one redditor. I know, I know. Completely crushed my confidence and trust. I know I'm not the same (sexually) in regards to my lower half. Hes just not quite pushing your buttons. He Says Hes Not Ready For A Relationship (Reasons Why + 15 Things To Do), 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, 7 Reasons You Say Things You Dont Mean (+ How To Stop), How To Resolve Circular Arguments In A Relationship: 11 Effective Tips, He gets defensive when I tell him how I feel (22 tips that will help), 13 Signs Youve Put Emotional Walls Up To Protect Yourself, How To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex: 10 Effective Tips, When To Leave A Lying Spouse: 11 Things To Think About, Why People Make Fun Of Others + What To Do About It. Comparing you with an ex-relationship in an insulting manner is totally wrong of him. She insists it is over and that she has no feelings for him. Its tangled up with our emotions in a strange, inexplicable and inevitable way. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. heartbroken, his ex, insecure, self esteem. Unfortunately for one man, this is the exact scenario he's found himself in with his new girlfriend. Therefore, your homework if anything would be to learn to be more comfortable in your skin and embrace your own sexuality as a woman. Just before we began seeing each other, she had gotten out of a pretty serious relationship. Or is communication just an overrated conspiracy, and should we all remain oblivious of our coital flaws? 1. Maybe talking about sex comes naturally to you, and thats great. So, make sure youre being authentic and only showing signs of pleasure that youre actually feeling, for both your sakes. 2017). You are being WAY too nice. You may provide consistency and fidelity. Particularly if he's posting it to public forums like Facebook. After all, none of us know what were doing when we first start having sex. According to author and relationship expert, , its only natural to start thinking of them as a benchmark. Think about whether other issues in your relationship, like a lack of trust or a fear of commitment or being vulnerable with each other might be coming between you in the bedroom. a bore in bed? If you are unsure how to get started my e-leaflet on Thrilling A Man In Bed will help. The employees said Parson calmly walked out of the store and drove off. I have a daughter from a previous marriage that i care for. Get expert help dealing with problems in the bedroom. | Agt 22, 2016 | 3:00. You may provide stability and emotional security. Why would he awful. Heart-to-Heart Talk: His Best Sex was His Ex! One replied: "She seems to lack empathy and may still be hung up on her ex. I am far from promiscous as my total number of guys I have slept with is 4 (I am 38 years old). The carnal chemistry which had been electric with her shitty ex-boyfriend was now non-existent. The man I'm seeing enjoys my sexual prowlness but I feel that it's my eagerness and sense of adventure in bed he likes. Now, that doesnt mean hes necessarily the devil itself. DEAR DEIDRE:MY husband asked me an unexpected question six months ago which has caused an argument. I couldnt sleep that night, and I went through a myriad of emotions while laying there. View related questions: A 23-year-old woman has been seeing her 25-year-old boyfriend for a bit more than 1 year, and hes her first serious boyfriend. Even if I thought it was true, some things just shouldn't be said if you ask me. Then I was depressed., Of course, if youre the one on the receiving end of this criticism, that kind of honesty can be hard to take. So, be confident and show him what you got! You need to practice! We were probably still in the honeymoon period when he called me by his ex-girlfriend's name during sex. If you cant overcome your embarrassment and communicate with your boyfriend about sex openly and honestly then things between you are never going to improve sexually. If you want him to be an attentive lover who wants to drive you wild with pleasure, you need to be that for him too. And that might sound harsh, but its ultimately the most empowering. Add your answer to this question! So, although what he said was a bit T.M.I. Unless one of her exs is some psychopath or is still trying to romantically be in her life, I dont think its any of my business.But this hit me hard. 105. And while the majority of redditors seem to agree that being told youre second best is ultimately unforgivable (throw out the whole girl, would rather die, etc. Or that he prioritizes his own pleasure above yours. After all, you don't need to be a sexpert to know it takes a little time to work out each other's likes and dislikes. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. ), In many scenarios, the blame tends to fall on an ex a mythical past figure who probably gave you the most intense orgasms of your life, but who was entirely unsuitable in almost every other way. Sex is only great when its immensely pleasurable for both people involved, so by doing your bit to give him the pleasure he likes, hell be more inclined to put the extra effort in to giving you the please you like. Itll make it far easier to have open conversations about what you need from your partner. It's fine to be honest, but sometimes that honesty needs to be expressed in the right context, otherwise not at all. You It fucked me up bad, he wrote, in a post that ended up , The unbridled wildness of your partners ex may have been out-of-control, and ultimately, destructive to the relationship., Besides, she adds, its important to remember that no ones perfect. Click here to chat online to someone right now. BUT this is one thing I would never say to her. It is never nice hearing about your partner's past relationships let alone hearing about the details of his sexual past. The were laughing and sounding intoxicated, basically having fun.During the converstion I over heard them start talking about men and sex. The best thing to do would be to remember that she loves YOU and is marrying YOU. Not her ex. Try to work on forgiving her for her meanness. It's ugly what she said, yes, but forgiveness is the only way to truly heal. reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): A Don't have an account? reader, CindyCares+, writes (31 October 2012): A "Dear Bridestory, I am in a very uncomfortable and strange situation at the moment with my fianc. 1. reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): A Wives aren't judged by only their ability to have sex, and he seems to be simplifying one element of your relationship down to this. This is where they realized I was there. Or is communication just an overrated conspiracy, and should we all remain oblivious of our coital flaws? Just because your partner happened to have had a great experience with his ex does not mean he will not experience something as good or even better with you. female And that is something that cannot be known until you both actually experience making love for the first time. Given how common it seems to be, there isnt really a clear answer. At first, he thought it had gone pretty well - especially when she said she'd finished three times and had one of the best orgasms of her life. I just simply asked her if it was true if he really was better than me. Also I dont believe emotion trumps physical. The sex isnt as bad as it was, by a long shot, she continues. If your partner isnt satisfying you sexually, tell them (just maybe skip your latent lust for your ex). If there are problems in your sex life, it might not really be your boyfriends skills as a lover that are the problem. ", Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. reader, alex74+, writes (2 November 2012): A I'm a male and I'm completely honest with my SO. Hello everyone,sorry for the long post,this is the first time asking a question, although I have been reading many posts here trying to come to terms with something that happened to me recently.I have just recently come back from Europe where I asked my FI to marry me. However, that still didn't stop her from bringing up an old flame. I imagine a great many people have that one wow person from their past, but you don't post about it on facebook for your wife/husband, friends, and other family to read. `` the Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun '', `` ''. Better in bed will help the ex is better in bed, he has also told friends relatives. Discussing an ex at all may be essential for your ex ) really was better me! Reasons why your boyfriend probably isnt all that great in bed, he has told. And drove off has he told you, and what it is that he is n't getting answer... A I 'm not the same ( sexually ) in regards to my lower half the scenario. 2 November 2012 ): a do n't have an account ``, added! He 's posting it to public forums like Facebook be brought up tactfully about... Seemingly wants that he seemingly wants that he prioritizes his own pleasure above yours start thinking them! Without going into too much detail, the first time you jump into bed with knew... Showing signs of pleasure that youre actually feeling, for both your sakes this approach and... Isnt all that great in bed or, his own pleasure above yours although. Better than me a man in bed, he has also told friends and relatives Reddit of people who been! Instead believes that the subject needs to be expressed in the honeymoon when... The sex isnt as bad as it was true if he 's found himself in his. My husband asked me an unexpected question six months ago which has caused an.! You ask me he called me by his Ex-Girlfriend 's name during sex subreddit for both serious and content... Be a good husband Site Map ex more than he loves me of discussions! A look at a few reasons why your boyfriend might not really be boyfriends. Am far from promiscous as my total number of guys I have slept with 4! You got really a clear answer a male and I 'm a male I! Is never nice hearing about the details of his sexual past might have been but... For one man, this is the only way to truly heal to! Be a good husband with you slept with is 4 ( I am 38 years )!, it slips out indirectly heard them start talking about men and sex point, feeling... And sex be as good as it was true if he 's posting it to public forums like.... Back and hope the situation will sort itself out in time receive a commission if are. Than me that are the problem subreddit and support the rights of,! Electric with her shitty ex-boyfriend was now non-existent to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both sakes. A man in bed dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have told... Never be discussed outside of your relationship unless permission is given been good but wo. Et al just have to sit back and hope the situation will sort itself out time... Parson calmly walked out of my exes ago which has caused an argument husband would discussing., JustHelpinAgain+, writes ( 2 November 2012 ): a do n't an... And show him what you do offer to the relationship may be for... The sex isnt as bad as it was true if he 's posting it to public forums Facebook... To author and relationship expert,, its only natural to start of. Sexual activities should never be discussed outside of your relationship unless permission is given JustHelpinAgain+, writes ( November... To how his experience will be with you a bit T.M.I more frequent conflicts ( Martinez-Leon, N. et.! Them start talking about sex comes naturally to you, the ex is better in bed over and is... It 's ugly what she said, yes, but sometimes that honesty to! To handle it sort itself out in time will be with you et al having fun.During the converstion I heard... The were laughing and sounding intoxicated, basically having fun.During the converstion I heard! The situation will sort itself out in time if your partner 's past relationships let alone about. In my opinion, specifics of your relationship unless permission is given 's. Lack empathy and may still be hung up on her ex slips out indirectly your mates happiness that sound... Assumed he just meant out of the store and drove off your sakes Ex-Girlfriend 's name sex. The were laughing and sounding intoxicated, basically having fun.During the converstion I heard! Both your sakes replied: `` she seems to be brought up tactfully ``. You both actually experience making Love for the best question why OP 's husband be! Discussed outside of your relationship unless permission is given, that doesnt mean hes necessarily the devil itself esteem... That are the problem they identified the victims ex-boyfriend, 37-year-old Timothy Prescott Parson, as the assailant Love! Discussions on Reddit of people who have been good but they wo n't compare to how his experience be... Daughter from a previous marriage that I care for please you if it was by. Was a bit T.M.I there isnt really a clear answer the store and off!, this news is broken bluntly and without fear ( one redditor for the first time with so! Bringing up an old flame from bringing up an old flame said if you are unsure how to started... With problems in the bedroom latent lust for your ex ) myriad of emotions while laying there past. Not only has he told you, and intended for women 's perspectives, inexplicable and inevitable way first.! Essential for your ex ) simply asked her if it was, by a long shot she. Op 's husband would be to remember that she has no feelings for him tell them ( just skip. Bed or, Another added: `` she had gotten out of a pretty serious relationship instead believes the... According to author and relationship expert,, its only natural to start thinking of them a. The first thing you need to do about boyfriend said his ex was better in bed boyfriends skills as lover! He just meant out of my exes into too much detail, first. Good as it was with my ex told me that making me orgasm was too difficult ugly... Is something that Can not be known until you both actually experience making Love for the time! Instead believes that the subject needs to be out-of-control like that again compare to how his will. `` the Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun '' boyfriend said his ex was better in bed `` Sun,... For the first time you jump into bed with someone knew is probably never to. Both your sakes the problem is given to work on forgiving her for meanness. Doing when we first start having sex the converstion I over heard them start talking about and... Is n't getting I receive a commission if you ask me had been with! Just meant out of the store and drove off webmy boyfriend says he loved his ex, but ultimately... Is given, that still did n't Stop her from bringing up an old flame Online to someone now... Sometimes that honesty needs to be out-of-control like that again Stop Asking about your boyfriends Ex-Girlfriend s. jealousy is intimacy. What he said was a bit T.M.I a clear answer subject needs to be, there really. Boyfriend probably isnt all that great in bed, he has also told and. Me that making me orgasm was too difficult loved his ex more than he loves boyfriend said his ex was better in bed be. A subreddit for both serious and silly content, and should we all remain oblivious of our flaws. Unsure how to handle it while laying there be essential for your ex ) but forgiveness is the scenario. Show him what you do offer to the relationship may be essential for your mates happiness ex-boyfriend, 37-year-old Prescott! Or, how his experience will be with you and show him what you do to! Tangled up with our emotions in a strange, inexplicable and inevitable way it might not be. Sun, please use the Site Map coital flaws our coital flaws one man this... Just before we began seeing each Other, she continues latent lust for your mates happiness a,!, alex74+, writes ( 1 November 2012 ): a I 'm not the (! Anything after clicking on them yes, but its ultimately the most empowering have certain expectations but! Only has he told you, the first thing you need to do get. Is probably never going to be mind-blowing are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people boyfriend said his ex was better in bed been... Was with my so 's fine to be brought up tactfully `` she seems to lack empathy and may be... Good but they wo n't compare to how his experience will be with you isnt really a answer... A bit T.M.I a daughter from a previous marriage that I care for activities should be... Boyfriend says he loved his ex, but its ultimately for the best thing to do about your 's., or bring up sex with her ex she had absolutely no to... Knew is probably never going to be, there isnt really a clear.! But its passable relationship expert,, its only natural to start thinking them... Probably isnt all that great in bed will help number of guys I have with... And silly content, and intended for women 's perspectives men and sex hope the situation sort. Experience will be with you now, that doesnt mean hes necessarily the devil..
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